Every case is as unique as the children that are in them, and each one has a story that got them to where they are. I can say with certainty that no matter the story, no matter the age, each child has a sense of trauma. Even infants.

There is a wonderful book called Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. Adopted as a baby, she helps her audience understand the variety of thoughts and feelings children have when dealing with their adoption. I’m sure I’ll refer to her quite often.

One the more eye-opening points Sherrie made her in book is that even babies who are adopted, including ones adopted at birth, experience trauma after leaving their mother’s womb. They already know their mother’s voice. They know her heartbeat. The bond a child has towards their mother is almost instantaneous. All of a sudden, that familiarity, that comfort, and that bond is gone.

People often think the trauma foster kids go through is based events that happened in their birth family’s home. This is true for so many cases…but not all. For many, the trauma begins when they are taken away from their birth family. They didn’t know their home was unsafe. They didn’t feel unloved. And now they are in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people and have no idea why. They wonder when this will happen again. A seed of uncertainty is planted and takes root in their heart, becoming weeds in a garden that will continue to emerge no matter how much you try to pull them out or cover it up with mulch.

The good news is there are ways to nurture these hearts to deal with the burdens of their past.

I highly recommend this book for adoptive and foster parents. It’s a great resource.