I don’t remember anything about the Alamo. I was simply on autopilot. Moving and looking. But I didn’t really know where I was going or what I was looking at. I don’t even know how long we were there. It could’ve been an hour or three.

We had told our agency that when our little pumpkins go home we’ll be wanting a break before getting a new placement. So with putting ourselves on hold, we were not prepared for any other children, let alone a baby.

But there we were, standing in line with hundreds of others discussing whether or not to have a baby. So much of me wanted to say yes and so much felt I needed to say no. Michael was battling with the same thoughts. What do we do? We told the caseworker that we were out of town and would call her back with an answer soon. We had a lot of praying to do.

Some may not realize the regulations that some foster parents deal with that normal parents don’t. For example, we are not allowed to have a babysitter unless they are trained, certified, and licensed by our agency. Needless to say we don’t get much time to ourselves. We can’t even have a visitor at our house more than once a month unless they want to hand over their social security number. As much of a blessing as it is taking care of these children, there is also so much we have to sacrifice. We are happy to do it, however it’s nice to have a break every now and then. And I was really enjoying mine. That’s why this phone call took us by surprise and left me conflicted. I was praying to God for an answer. We had only been without our little pumpkins for less than a week. I wasn’t ready for a new attachment. I wasn’t ready for another goodbye.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say no to this baby boy. As I was preparing my heart to say yes and all the emotions that it would bring, the caseworker called us back to let us know that the baby was being discharged and would need a home soon. God had given me my answer. We were not going to be back in town full time for another week, and this baby would need to be placed before then. We told the caseworker we would take this baby if he still didn’t have a home when we got back; However, we knew that would probably not be the case considering babies are so quickly picked up by foster parents. We knew he would be in a good home in no time.

Even though everything worked out that day, I couldn’t seem to relax for the rest of the trip. The margaritas helped, though. I had an amazing time with my incredible husband. My best friend. My partner in crime who will enter a restaurant with me even though the sign outside says “Closed due to private party” and will walk his pale, redneck-self around sporting the name tag “Jose”. (Don’t worry. It was late into the party, and Jose was surely never going to show up.) I don’t know much about being a real estate agent but I guess we can successfully act like one.

We’ll see what happens next, dear reader. The caseworker told us we are one of her favorites and will definitely call us when another baby needs a family. Either way, another adventure awaits.