God has been calling my name. I have always been a Christian. There has never been a time in my memory when I didn’t know what Jesus has done for me. I’ve known it for so long and have taken it for granted. In January, I made it my goal to read the entire Bible before the end of the year. I make this goal every year, however it’s never been accomplished. This year is different. I am reading. I am studying. My heart is now on fire in the most wonderful way.
You’d think that becoming a mother would be the thing that changed me. It has in many ways. But let’s face it, parenthood doesn’t always bring out the best in us.
It’s been the simple act of reading through the Bible that is changing my heart. There’s no explaining why. There hasn’t been a verse or story in the Bible that I would consider the culprit of this transformation. It’s just been spending time with Him in His word in the morning, talking to Him throughout the day, and listening for Him.
And I’ve been hearing Him call my name. It’s been heavy on my heart to share His word. Not to whisper His good news or only talk about it with other Christians. But to shout it out and be His hands and feet to help build His kingdom. He told his disciples in Mark 1:17 to follow Him and He will make them fishers of man. I don’t know how He wants me to do this, but I trust He will show me the way.
Foster Mommying 
My dearest Nicole… Your words are the same words that echo in my head daily, so I can relate to the willingness to say “Yes!” to His call, but the uncertainty of what that call is. One of my favorite quotes is from Tagore and he said, “While I’m busy stringing and unstringing my instrument, the song I came to sing remains unsung.” THAT has been my fear for years… that I keep myself so busy with “doing” that I overlook the reason for my “being”. That is also why one of my favorite scripture verses is the psalm, “Be still and know that I am God.” Sound familiar????
I’m at a stage in my life that the “doing” has been placed in the background. Aging and health issues have a way of making that happen. So I even get more frustrated with my “purpose” , yet I trust (as you’ve said) “He will show me the way.” Then I had to come to the realization, that maybe He IS showing me the way, but I’m just not listening…or not seeing. So begins another round of self doubt. Oh, what complicated creatures we homo sapiens are! Then I came to the conclusion that it is not complicated at all… it is actually simplicity in it’s most pure form…Love. God is Love. Through Him, with Him and in Him we have our being. Any complications come from our straying from that path,… my need to control,… to make or do what I think needs to be made or done!
One of the biggest influences in my spiritual journey has been a friendship with a Jesuit priest, Fr. Larry Hein. He was the the priest that did the funeral service for Poppy. I had been blessed with working alongside him for years at the Cenacle Retreat House where he was chaplain. We became good friends, with him becoming a mentor and guide. We would chat often. I would ask questions, but he would never give me a direct answer… but merely lead me in the direction of my own discovery of truth. I was particularly frustrated one time. I didn’t think I was being taken seriously for my suggestions at work, yet everyone would remark how enthusiastic I was. And I began to think that it wasn’t much of a compliment.
Larry asked if I knew where the word enthusiasm came from and of course, I didn’t. He said it came from the Greek “en theos” meaning, “one with God, inspired by the God within”. And when you think about it, when we become really enthusiastic about something, we can feel the surge of energy. When we tap into something we’re passionate about, we connect with our True Source. We become co-creators with our Creator and we get “fired up!” That’s how enthusiasm became my all-time favorite word.
All this is just to tell you, dear Nikki, you need not worry about missing His call. Just follow your gut!… your Chi… your lifeline and true self. Because He’s been whispering that call in your heart even before you took your first breath! We are all given gifts that are uniquely ours. No other soul in the universe can have what we have. Oh, we have similar gifts , sure… but no one can use your gifts the way you can… or Michael’s gifts the way Michael can… or Aiden’s gifts the way Aiden can. Get the picture????
Simply do what you love to do…and say “Thank You” to the One who made you love it!
You are such a blessing to me. I love you, Grammy
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I’m in tears. My enthusiasm comes from Him, but it has been encouraged by others. Mostly you. I love you.
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